No, Mahr Does Not Make Women the Object of a Transactional Marital Relationship

Mahr Provides Some Economic Cushion in a World Where Women are Economically Disadvantaged

I vividly remember a community discussion where a man brazenly stated, ‘I didn’t pay her Mahr just for her to challenge my authority.’ It was a candid admission; one that exposed the toxic attitudes pervasive in discussions about marriage in Muslim communities.

A growing number of women are reevaluating their views on marriage, sparked by conversations that expose the unsettling similarities between slavery and marriage. A recurring theme in these discussions is that the term ‘marriage’ often masks a profoundly unequal partnership — a sentiment I strongly agree with.

The need for this conversation has been long overdue. Through my observations of Muslim marriages over the years, I’ve developed a deeper understanding of the complex dynamics at play. I’ve always been intrigued by the concept of Mahr, a marital gift chosen by the woman herself. Unfortunately, many of us remain unaware of its true importance. This is because some Muslim leaders have distorted the concept of Mahr, portraying it as a transactional exchange where a husband purchases his bride’s obedience — an extremely appalling notion. Is this really what we’ve been reduced to? Distorting the spirit of the Mahr to feed misogynistic cultures?”

In my exploration of Islamic principles, I’ve come to appreciate the concept of Mahr as a powerful tool for women’s economic empowerment. This marital gift, chosen by the woman herself, was a game-changer in a society where women were often relegated to financial dependence.

Islam introduced a groundbreaking shift in women’s rights, introducing egalitarian principles that acknowledged biological differences while promoting equality. Amongst these principles was the concept of the mahr. The Quran boldly emphasizes this.

“Give women their bridal gift upon marriage, though if they are happy to give up some of it for you, you may enjoy it with a clear conscience.”

Noble Qur’an, 4:4, Translation by M.A.S Abdel Haleem

This verse underscores the woman’s autonomy in choosing her Mahr. In the Prophet’s (PBUH) time, Mahr empowered women to become financially independent, engaging in trade and owning property. It was a symbol of economic empowerment, not a transactional exchange.

At a time when the fields of trade and commerce were male-dominated and many women were relegated to the background of home life with little or nothing to their name, Islam made it compulsory for men to give women a valuable marital gift of the women’s own choosing. This was in consideration of the fact that upon marriage, many women were handicapped by the burden of pregnancy and child-raising.

Mahr came in the form of gold, silver, landed properties, livestock, valuable jewellery and much more. It was common at the time for women to ask for a stipulated sum of money which they would further invest in various trades to make them financially independent. While these women were busy with bearing and raising children, they had their mahr and the proceeds from it to fall back on. From these, they gave charity and became confident women who could engage in trade, hire employees, and own property.

It is important to acknowledge that back then, many men struggled to afford the Mahr, making marriage seem impossible. To address this, the Prophet (PBUH) encouraged wealthier Muslims to support their economically disadvantaged brothers. On one occasion, He allowed a woman to accept the memorisation and teaching of the Qur’an as Mahr because she considered this more valuable than material wealth. The economic and financial advantage that men had over women was what made it compulsory to pay Mahr to the women and to provide for them financially. By so doing, the wide gap between the genders would be bridged.

“ Husbands should take good care of their wives with (the bounties) God has given to some more than others and with what they spend out of their money. Righteous wives are faithful and guard what God would have them guard in their husbands’ absence. “

Noble Qur’an, 4:34, Translation by M.A.S Abdel Haleem

Today, we’re still debating whether women should receive financial support during childbirth and childcare. Astonishingly, Islam addressed this concern over 1,400 years ago! Recognizing that childbearing and childcare responsibilities fell disproportionately on women, it was essential to acknowledge that women’s biological functions shouldn’t disadvantage them economically. This was necessary to create a balanced society since all human beings are equal in the sight of God.

In the Prophet’s (PBUH) time, Mahr was calculated based on a woman’s socioeconomic status, ensuring she maintained her standard of living. In modern times, the significance of Mahr remains unchanged. Consider a couple, both lawyers, who marry and start a family. Due to biological differences, the woman’s career may be impacted by childbearing and childcare. To compensate, she can calculate her potential earnings for the affected years and request this amount as Mahr. This lump sum or installment payment can be invested in businesses or assets, securing her financial future.

“ If she stipulates that her mahr should be increased or that it should be in a specific currency, the condition is valid and binding, and he has to fulfil it, and she has the right of annulment if it is broken. “

- Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan

Islam’s stance on Mahr is unambiguous. If a husband passes away without paying the full Mahr, it becomes a debt to be settled from his estate before any heirs can claim their share. If he leaves no estate, the responsibility falls on his family or the Muslim community.

The recent trend of guilt-tripping women into accepting meager Mahr amounts is a ploy to ease the process for men while further disadvantaging women. This is not Islamic.

There is the historical account of the Caliph Umar (RA) who wanted to cap the value of the mahr and limit the amount women could request for. A woman stood up and criticised his plan using verses from the Qur’an to justify her disagreement. Umar (RA) rescinded his statement saying that “The woman is right and Umar is wrong“. Had this woman not stood up to him, this revision would have become a part of Islamic law. This anecdote highlights the importance of upholding women’s rights in the face of patriarchal pressures.

“And for women are rights over men similar to those of men over women.”

— Noble Qur’an, 2:226, Translation by M.A.S Abdel Haleem

As we move forward, it’s essential to promote a deeper understanding of Mahr and its significance in Islam. We must challenge distorted interpretations and promote greater equality in Muslim marriages. By doing so, we can create a more just and equitable society, where women’s rights are respected and valued.

Let us take action to:

• Educate ourselves and others about the true significance of Mahr in Islam.
• Promote greater equality in Muslim marriages by recognizing the importance of Mahr as a financial right.
• Support women in asserting their rights and autonomy within marriage.

In conclusion, Mahr is an unconditional financial right that affirms a woman’s autonomy, dignity, and economic equality within marriage. It has absolutely nothing to do with her being the object of a transaction where she becomes subservient to her partner. It’s a powerful tool for women’s economic empowerment, and its significance remains unchanged in modern times. As we strive for greater equality and justice, let us recognize the importance of Mahr in promoting women’s economic rights.

“People, We created you all from a single man and a single woman, and made you into races and tribes so that you should recognize one another. In God’s eyes, the most honoured of you are the ones most mindful of Him: God is all knowing, all aware.”

— Noble Qur’an, 49:13, Translation by M.A.S Abdel Haleem